It’s been one of those weeks. How so? How are you not feeling this with me? Am I the only one who is like, why the f*ck is it only Wednesday? Arrrgh. It’s just looooooong. I’m not in the mood. I literally want to sod everything off and be like ‘See ya… I’m off to Thailand.’ I can’t I know. But I want to. Today had literally started on a good note but now I want it all to just f*ck off. Right off. Out of here, there and everywhere. So far so blah.
Kettle on. Tea. The king of wishful thinking and what dreams are made of. Finish tea in 2 seconds. Downed a bottle of water. Kettle on again. Eat breakfast bar. Feel sick after breakfast bar. Been told 3 million things to do before midday. Don’t have time. Wants kettle on my desk with milk and tea. Contemplates founding a technology device that feeds me tea through a drip. Goes through emails in inbox. Hate the organiser in myself who agreed to 3 email accounts coming through to my inbox. Drinks more tea. Downs tea. Feels sick after tea. Milk is doing turns in my tummy. Breakfast bar debating coming up and not staying within.
Another 3 emails arrive in inbox tellling me to do more stuff. I start to hate the guy who invented email.
Tell someone to take over something because its not my job to do it. She knows have told her ALL before. “Dannii can you just send me an email. This is urgent and I’ve asked you before to do it” Fecking cheek. Starts writing email that I don’t have time to write. She knows. It’s been explained time and time again. Out comes her notepad. The notepad of shitsville. The notepad where lists and endless fecking lists come to nothing. Wants to burn the list book. Want to karate kick said person in head. Drinks glass of water.
Tries to stop qeasiness. Feels bloated. Wine doing twirls in my tummy from last night. Drinks green tea. Feels revived. Motions gun in mouth in kitchen. Man from office next door laughs. Comes back into the office and it starts again. This time, emails. “Dannii can you do…” Feels saved by the fact I will smoke a fag at 10.30. YES GOD YES. Headphones go in. Internet goes down. Screams in my head like king kong. How do I feel? SHOOT ME.
All this BEFORE 10AM.
Fuck this shit.