Rock Paper Scissors…


I understand that scissors can beat paper. And I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no way that paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock and leaving it immobile?

Why can’t paper do this to scissors?

Screw scissors.

Why can’t paper do this to people?

Why aren’t sheets of school ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?

I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear it up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I ALWAYS choose rock. Then when someone claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, Oh sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

Sod The New Year’s Resolutions. This Year It’s All About ME!


It’s 2013 and every person I speak to is banging on about their New Year’s resolutions. It’s that time of year where we all promise ourselves we’re going to do something good with ourselves and join that gym to shift those extra pounds we piled on over Xmas or give up booze to save money. Does anyone actually stick to it? Who can honestly admit they’ve ever actually stuck to a New Year’s resolution for longer than an hour, day, week, month or a whole year? Who? I’d love to meet you.

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I’m seriously intrigued. Because I think the only thing I’ve stuck to without fail is this no smoking lark because, well, my health forbids it and cracking onto nearly 2 whole months without those cancer sticks (as my Mum loves to call them) is as close as I’ll ever get to a resolution I’ve actually stuck too. I’ve spoken to 6 people in the past week who insisted they’d give up smoking and have so far smoked their weight in cigarettes because this week doesn’t count and they’ll start afresh next week because well January doesn’t really count does it? What a load of baloney. Give over mate, you won’t stop for a while now.

Who actually sticks to their resolutions? Who says, I will succeed no matter what anyone says? A friend said yesterday she’s given up alcohol because Xmas was expensive. She’s not ‘drunk’ for 5 days but she works in a pub and if it’s a special occasion, one drink won’t hurt. Erm ok. Yesterday wasn’t a special occasion but a JD and coke felt like a great idea at the time. Yes that makes sense. Confused? Me too.

After eating our weight in turkey, mince pies and chocolate, every person across the world vows they will spend the New Year losing weight. We all say we want to get rid of the Santa Claus midriff, Kim Kardashian butt and get in shape to a new younger looking healthier you. But who sticks to it?

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Who gets off their ass and joins a gym as soon as Christmas is over? Who wants to lift dumbbells, run 5k on that running machine thingy majig and do 200 press ups a day? It comes as no surprise that we all want to get fit and be healthy. Of course losing that extra stodge is a must after over indulging over the Christmas period but according to a study 95% of Brits will actually stick to part of it. What a surprise. Losing weight, keeping fit and being healthy are almost certainly the top New Years resolutions people vow to stick to but almost certainly give up within a few weeks and waste thousands on that gym membership they end up swapping for that episode of Eastenders for.

According to a new survey it was revealed that Brits are amongst one of the unhealthiest nations in the world. A shocking quarter of us are obese, while British women are among the fattest in Europe. Crikey, we better get our asses in gear and waddle up to the gym now.

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I’m not sticking to any resolutions this year. I’ve stopped smoking and I have goals I’d like to aim for but if I don’t complete them, oh well. I’m not going to scream and shout and cause a fuss about it. But I will focus 2013 on having fun. Isn’t that what life is about?

Happy Australia Day


Although this time of the year can be a cold one especially if you’re in the UK but if you’re Australian, January 26th is a special day. It’s Australia Day. The day when all my Aussie friends would get together to celebrate the national day of Australia. Celebrated annually on 26 January, the date commemorates the arrival of the First Fleet at Sydney Cove, New South Wales in 1788 and the proclamation at that time of British sovereignty over the eastern seaboard of Australia.

Australian’s the world over would celebrate with outdoor concerts, community barbecues, sports competitions, festivals and fireworks.
I’m not Australian but have met loads of amazing friends through travels and living in Central London who are. They may not be with me in London today but a big cheer to all of them from me in West London. Hope you all have a great one!

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The Great Social Media Customer Service Race


Going on from my post about the catastrophe over the bagel incident a few months back, lots of people have been complaining about brands and their lack of interest in replying to consumers online. Ignoring social media mistakes and complaints is a huge mistake. It’s crazy that so many brands are bigging themselves up online but fail to recognize the more important matter to hand and that is the consumer. Failing to engage with consumers online means bad news for brands, bad bad news. Despite the risks posed by ignoring complaints, the RightNow survey shows that four out of five consumer complaints about a poor customer experience are ignored. It’s a mind boggle that brands fail to engage with consumers. We’re the ones that make them money, keep them afloat and all that jazz. Perhaps they think that there’s no upside to such conversations.The RightNow study shows that answering complaints can change attitudes. 21% of the complaints DID get a response, and more than half the customers had positive reactions to the same company or brand they had been blasting not long before. When customers received a response to their complaint, 46% were pleased. And, even more surprising, 22% actually posted a positive comment about the company or brand.

Last year a research project led by a CRM analyst revealed some serious issues with customer service practices from top brands. The project found that decision makers weren’t doing enough to guide social CRM systems in a way that best serves their businesses. This great infographic shows how long, on average it took the brand to get back to the customer.

Have you had any problems with brands and not heard back to them when you’ve complained using social media? I’d be interested to hear your stories.

Made Me Laugh… The Different Type Of Facebookers


This made me laugh and I wanted to share it with you all. For those who have Facebook accounts will know what I mean when they see the infographic below. The website Iwastesomuchtime.com added this picture to their site a while back and it still rings true even now. I use my Facebook for connecting with family and friends the world over, speaking to friends I plan on skyping but never do (I’m not the only one!) and adding some rather ridiculous photo’s of that weekend we all fail to remember. We’ve all seen the bad Facebook account posted online in some hideous  manor but all wonder if that person actually exists but it seems there are some dummies out there.

I can’t really choose which one is my favourite of the below as they all are equally brilliant.


My friend’s little brother is missing in Thailand, can you please help us find him.

Me, myself & I

My friend’s little brother Tom Armstrong is missing in Thailand after doing a diving course in Koh Tao. The last time he was in contact with his family , he was due to return home over the festive period, but his mother, Helen Armstrong-Bland, said he had postponed his flight to January 8 after ‘running into trouble’ in the Thai capital Bangkok. He didn’t get on the plane.

 

If anyone is in Koh Tao and have seen Tom Armstrong can you please get in touch with the Suffolk Police on 101. Can you please share this and get in touch with the Police as soon as possible please.

 

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Weirdest Advert So Far OF 2013


During a weird and slightly amusing episode of Celebrity Big Brother (Toadie from Neighbours is in it, give me a break!) possibly thee worst and weirdest advert came on. If you haven’t seen it, you’re not missing much. It literally is 5 people jumping or flying across the screen wearing different colour clothing and explosions of fruit like things and then the voice over saying “5 colours, come out from the cold,” then a number pops up with their website and that’s it.

Who are you?
What are you?
What are you trying to sell?

I hate to have to go out of my way to find out who you are, what you do and what you’re trying to sell but I did and found you’re this:

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Electronic cigarettes why the heck didn’t you say so??!!

Righto. Most wasted 20 seconds of this year so far, you could have just said that at the beginning. If you think I’ve lost it and it seems like a great advert, check 5 coloursand comment below.*

* Just so you could see, I had to be the first person to view this shite video on YouTube for your viewing benefit.