My Top Only Fools and Horses Moments


My God, I love a good episode of classic TV and us Brits have delighted TV screens with brilliant comedy for decades now, with most people admitting, no one can do good comedy gold like the British. John Sullivan, the genius creator of the hit family show produced a lovable family that the country and world adored.  Mixing laughter, drama, family life, tears and compassion about an every-day family living in Peckham, Saff Landan struggling to make ends meet, facing the toughest of challenges on a daily/weekly/yearly basis, was a winner with all. Without a doubt, one of, if not, my favourite British comedies of all time, even with the funniest and most lovable characters around.

Here’s my top Only Fools and Horses moments since the beginning, not in any particular order, as they were all so brilliant.

Trigger’s Broom from ‘Heroes and Villains’ (1996)

Everyones gotta love Trigger. In all honestly you’d never think there would be someone out there who could be like that but I have met some equally as stupid as Roger Lloyd’s character.

In one of the funniest and sweetest of classic scenes, Trigger claims that he’s had his road sweeper’s broom for 20 years. But then adds that the broom has had 17 new heads and 14 hands.

“How can it be the same bloody broom then?” asks Sid the café owner. Trigger produces a picture of him and his broom and asks: “what more proof do you need?”

Cwying from ‘Stage Fright’ (1991)

A hilarious cameo from Philip Pope saw this episode feature Tony Angelino, a rubbish singer with a speech impediment sing cabaret for local villian Eugene Macarthy. It’s hard not to laugh at the ‘cwying’ performance loved by most.

The Blow Up Dolls from ‘Danger UXD’ (1989)

Following up from previous disastrous consignments, you’d think Del would have learnt his lesson by now, but clearly not. After receiving a consignment of dolls, these aren’t quite what he was expecting. Instead of the dolls favoured and loved by children, the dolls are of a larger size, more of the naughty adult type. The self-inflating plastic doll seems to be more of a life-threatening hazard than originally thought, with much laughter and explosive giggles to follow.

Batman & Robin from ‘Heroes and Villians’ (1996)

Who can forget the 1996 Christmas special that saw Del and  Rodney dress up as Batman & Robin, running through the streets of Peckham, even preventing a mugging, dressed as the lovable action heroes.

“I’d like to start the bidding at £150,000” from ‘Time on our hands’ (1996)

After what seems like eternity, 16 years later of hard luck, poverty, upset, crying and laughter, the Trotters discover an antique watch in their garage worth millions, changing their luck for all.

“My name is Rodney” from ‘Homesick’ (1983)

Rodney finally asks the question we’ve all been thinking of, why on earth does Trigger call him ‘Dave’. Seems it’s not as simple as we had thought.

Rodney: “Trig, why do you call me Dave? My name’s Rodney.”

Trigger: Are you sure?

Rodney: I’ve looked it up on my passport and birth certificate and everything. It’s definitely Rodney.

Trigger: So what’s Dave? A nickname, like?

It takes some convincing but Trigger concedes that he’s going to have to get used to calling Rodney, ‘Rodney’ from now on. Before promptly calling him Dave again.

The Chandelier from ‘A Touch of Glass’ (1982)

Always one to make sure he can hit things far beyond his actual skillset, this delightful episode sees Delboy royally fucking just about everything up, taking up chandelier cleaning as his forte on his long-list of professional services. On a chance encounter with Lady Ridgemere, Del offers up his services as a chandelier cleaner. I sure don’t need to explain what happens next, only masterminds can predict the hilarious outcome that is to come.

Del falls through the bar from ‘Yuppie Love’ (1989)

Without a doubt, one of the funniest scenes from OFAH. Del’s new yuppy sense of style makes him think he is on par with the rich and posh, when this cracker of a scene seems this happen. If you haven’t seen it, watch it now.

These are my favourite episodes, have I missed any out? If so, comment below.

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Things Go Bump in the Night


Anyone else share the feeling that horror movies or actually any form of scary movies scare you senseless? Just me. ok. I feel like a dork admitting it, but whatever. I don’t understand why someone would deliberately choose to put themselves through mind torture watching seriously fucked up terror for a minimum of an hour and a half. The type of horror where seriously fucked up things happen to each other thanks to someones seriously twisted mind. I don’t get. Where is the fun in that?

Nearly all my friends can watch slasher terror movies. The ones where some dude is running round being psycho murderer. It’s just plain weird. Fucked up type of weird. I’m very happy being the proud owner and constant watcher of Despicable Me, Monsters Inc and Ice Age. Forgive me but I’m cool, you suck.

“I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I’ll go for the gross-out. I’m not proud.”
–Stephen King

Do people actually like being scared? Asking a few friends and they all said the same thing. ‘People will always want to be scared, because by being scared, we find out more about ourselves than would be possible otherwise.’ Really? Is that the real reason.Not only are horror movies still being made, they are still doing astounding amounts of business at the box office. Is it because of fear that I hate to watch these types of movies? Maybe, but I’d rather not face or conquer my fears by watching horror movies. I’d rather do that myself without Pin Head being in the picture.I also don’t see the thrill of getting over a fear by watching two men who are chained in a dilapidated subterranean bathroom and are each given instructions via a microcassette recorder on how to escape. One is told he must escape the bathroom, while the other is told to kill him before a certain time, or the 2nd’s guys family will die. Meanwhile, police detectives investigate and attempt to apprehend the mastermind behind the “game”. Erm no thanks.Those who recognize this plot should recognize    it from the Saw franchise which not surprisingly received mixed reviews. According to Wikipedia, ‘Review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes reports that 48% of 162 critics have given the film a positive review, with a rating average of 5.4 out of 10. Dennis Harvey of Variety gave the film a negative review after its Sundance premiere. He called it a “crude concoction sewn together from the severed parts of prior horror/serial killer pics”. Carina Chocano of the Los Angeles Timesalso gave the film a mixed review saying, “Saw is so full of twists it ends up getting snarled. For all of his flashy engineering and inventive torture scenarios, the Jigsaw Killer comes across as an amateur. Hannibal Lecter would have him for lunch”. She said the film “carelessly underscores its own shaky narrative at every turn with its mid-budget hokiness”. She also noted that Elwes and Whannell had trouble keeping an American accent.’

What is the attraction to fear? Why do people enjoy being scared?

If horror movies use the collected fears of our society, then what exactly do those horror films say about the society as a whole, and how does the changing subject matter of what is considered a horror film reflect the changing fears and worries of a society entering a new millennium? There are many different explanations. The first is that the person is not actually afraid, but excited by the movie. The second explanation is that they are willing to endure the terror in order to enjoy a euphoric sense of relief at the end. Different people like to be scared by different things. Be that scary movies, thrill rides or being involved in extreme physical sports.

The hormonal reaction we get from responding to a threat or crisis is what motivates us to “like to be scared”. This is the same “fight or flight” syndrome which guaranteed our survival in more primitive times. At the moment we are threatened, we have increased strength, power, heightened senses and intuition. This increase in mental and physical capacity is commonly referred as an “adrenaline rush.” It is named after the primary hormone involved.

Basically, you can get this feeling defending yourself against a lion in the jungle or sitting in a theater showing a horror flick. We, as humans, appear to be “hard-wired” to be drawn to this feeling. It is older than we are as a species, and is tied to our survival; without it, we would have perished and died out long ago.With something so compelling, is it any wonder that many people like to get this sensation within the comfort, security and complete resolution a ninety minute scary movie or a two-minute thrill ride provide? It maybe tied to our survival but it’s not something that I’d go out of my way for. Being scared by movies isn’t something I’d go out of my way for. I also wouldn’t go Shark cage diving or jump out of a plane. The fear in that case is definitely not needed.

I can’t judge as I haven’t seen any of the following but I’ve been told via my friends that the following movies are indeed the ‘scariest of all time.’ Correct me if I’m wrong on the following movies if you disagree or agree (whichever), I’d be intrigued to know (just please leave the gory details out please) thanks. The following are all said to be of the traditional horror fare, be simply twisted or literally separate the men from the boys. The pictures themselves scare me enough and I’ve not even watched the movies yet.

The Exorcist

The film most of my friends and honestly my own Mum has banned me from watching. I’ve seen some of the pictures from Google Images and NO I’m NOT gonna watch this. Gross.

The Exorcist is a 1973 American horror film directed by William Friedkin, adapted from the 1971 novel of the same name by William Peter Blatty and based on the exorcism case of Robbie Mannheim,[3][4] dealing with the demonic possession of a young girl and her mother’s desperate attempts to win back her daughter through an exorcism conducted by two priests. The film features Ellen BurstynMax von SydowJason Miller and Linda Blair. The film is one of a cycle of ‘demonic child’ movies produced in the late 1960s and early 1970s, including Rosemary’s Baby and The Omen.

Rosemary’s Baby

Directed by Roman Polanski, a young couple move into a new apartment, only to be surrounded by peculiar neighbors and occurrences. When the wife becomes mysteriously pregnant, paranoia over the safety of her unborn child begins controlling her life.
The Omen (original) & The Omen (remake)

The Omen is a 1976 American suspense horror film where the newborn son of Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) and his wife, Katherine (Lee Remick), dies shortly after birth in Rome. Robert is coerced by Father Spiletto (Martin Benson) into substituting for the dead child an orphan whose mother died at the same moment, without telling Katherine. Out of concern for his wife’s mental well-being, Robert agrees. They name the child Damien. Clearly not the name to call your child as this is also the name commonly used for the Devil.

All the Halloween movies

Halloween is an American horror franchise that consists of ten slasher filmsnovels, and comic books. The franchise focuses on the fictional character of Michael Myers who was committed to a sanitarium as a child for the murder of his older sister, Judith Myers. Fifteen years later, he escapes to stalk and kill the people of Haddonfield, Illinois while being chased by his former psychiatrist Dr. Sam Loomis. Michael’s killings occur on the holiday of Halloween, on which all of the films primarily take place. The films collectively grossed over $366 million at the box-office worldwide.

Blair Witch Project 1 &2

The 1999 American psychological horror film pieced together from amateur footage and relates the story of three student filmmakers (Heather DonahueJoshua Leonard, and Michael C. Williams) who disappeared while hiking in the Black Hills nearBurkittsville, Maryland in 1994 to film a documentary about a local legend known as the Blair Witch. The viewers are told that the three were never seen or heard from again, although their video and sound equipment (along with most of the footage they shot) was discovered a year later. This “recovered footage” is presented as the film the viewer is watching.
Nightmare On Elm Street 

It’s got ‘Nightmare’ written in the title. Obvs it’s gonna be.

The Ring 1&2 (original and remake)

The Ring is a 2002 American psychological horror film directed by Gore Verbinski, and starring Naomi Watts and Martin Henderson. It is a remake of the 1998 Japanese horror film Ring.

Both films are based on Koji Suzuki‘s novel Ring and focus on a mysterious cursed videotape that contains a seemingly random series of disturbing images. After watching the tape, the viewer receives a phone call in which a girl’s voice announces that the viewer will die in seven days.

I watched most of this under a duvet with two giggly people. My sister and her best mate who thought my scaredy cat ways where ridiculous for someone at my age.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 

A 1974 American independent horror film, the film follows a group of friends who fall victim to a family of cannibals while on their way to visit an old homestead. Although it was marketed as a true story to attract a wider audience and as a subtle commentary on the era’s political climate, its plot is entirely fictional; however the character of Leatherface and minor plot details were inspired by the crimes of real-life murderer Ed Gein.

CandyMan

I stupidly watched this with friends when I was 13 at Halloween and it scared the bejeezus out of me. To this day, mirrors and darkness doesn’t bode well for me. Even if people are in the house I’m even more scared that before.

The Shining

A a 1980 psychological horror film produced and directed by Stanley Kubrick, co-written with novelist Diane Johnson, and starring Jack NicholsonShelley Duvall, and Danny Lloyd. The film is based on the novel of the same name by Stephen King. A writer, Jack Torrance, takes a job as an off-season caretaker at an isolated hotel. His young son possesses psychic abilities and is able to see things from the past and future, such as the ghosts who inhabit the hotel. Soon after settling in, the family is trapped in the hotel by a snowstorm, and Jack gradually becomes influenced by a supernatural presence; he descends into madness and attempts to murder his wife and son.

Paranormal Activity 

I don’t like things that go pump in the night and this is something I definitely won’t be watching anytime soon.

IT (i think that’s what it is called, the movies with the clown)

Obviously because it has a clown in it. I HATE CLOWNS. Whoever likes Clowns NEED HELP. End of story.

The Grudge (both American and Japanese versions) 

The Grudge is a 2004 American horror film, and is the first installment in the American horror film series of the same name. It is a remakeof the Japanese film Ju-on: The Grudge.

28 Days Later

Danny Boyle‘s acclaimed 2002 British horror film stars Cillian MurphyNaomie HarrisBrendan GleesonMegan Burns, and Christopher Eccleston. The plot depicts the breakdown of society following the accidental release of a highly contagious “rage” virus and focuses upon the struggle of four survivors to cope with the ruination of the life they once knew.

Saw (all of them)

Hostel

I’ve seen bits of both Hostel’s through an armpit of an ex-boyfriend but I won’t be watching it this through to the end ever again. A2005 horror film written, produced and directed by Eli Roth and starring Jay Hernandez. Due to the graphic nature of this film, its showing has been restricted in certain countries.

So these movies I won’t be watching anytime soon. Instead I’m going to stick to kiddie movies and romcoms. Go me. Out of everything I want to go and see this movie right now…