Sod The New Year’s Resolutions. This Year It’s All About ME!


It’s 2013 and every person I speak to is banging on about their New Year’s resolutions. It’s that time of year where we all promise ourselves we’re going to do something good with ourselves and join that gym to shift those extra pounds we piled on over Xmas or give up booze to save money. Does anyone actually stick to it? Who can honestly admit they’ve ever actually stuck to a New Year’s resolution for longer than an hour, day, week, month or a whole year? Who? I’d love to meet you.

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I’m seriously intrigued. Because I think the only thing I’ve stuck to without fail is this no smoking lark because, well, my health forbids it and cracking onto nearly 2 whole months without those cancer sticks (as my Mum loves to call them) is as close as I’ll ever get to a resolution I’ve actually stuck too. I’ve spoken to 6 people in the past week who insisted they’d give up smoking and have so far smoked their weight in cigarettes because this week doesn’t count and they’ll start afresh next week because well January doesn’t really count does it? What a load of baloney. Give over mate, you won’t stop for a while now.

Who actually sticks to their resolutions? Who says, I will succeed no matter what anyone says? A friend said yesterday she’s given up alcohol because Xmas was expensive. She’s not ‘drunk’ for 5 days but she works in a pub and if it’s a special occasion, one drink won’t hurt. Erm ok. Yesterday wasn’t a special occasion but a JD and coke felt like a great idea at the time. Yes that makes sense. Confused? Me too.

After eating our weight in turkey, mince pies and chocolate, every person across the world vows they will spend the New Year losing weight. We all say we want to get rid of the Santa Claus midriff, Kim Kardashian butt and get in shape to a new younger looking healthier you. But who sticks to it?

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Who gets off their ass and joins a gym as soon as Christmas is over? Who wants to lift dumbbells, run 5k on that running machine thingy majig and do 200 press ups a day? It comes as no surprise that we all want to get fit and be healthy. Of course losing that extra stodge is a must after over indulging over the Christmas period but according to a study 95% of Brits will actually stick to part of it. What a surprise. Losing weight, keeping fit and being healthy are almost certainly the top New Years resolutions people vow to stick to but almost certainly give up within a few weeks and waste thousands on that gym membership they end up swapping for that episode of Eastenders for.

According to a new survey it was revealed that Brits are amongst one of the unhealthiest nations in the world. A shocking quarter of us are obese, while British women are among the fattest in Europe. Crikey, we better get our asses in gear and waddle up to the gym now.

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I’m not sticking to any resolutions this year. I’ve stopped smoking and I have goals I’d like to aim for but if I don’t complete them, oh well. I’m not going to scream and shout and cause a fuss about it. But I will focus 2013 on having fun. Isn’t that what life is about?

Weirdest Advert So Far OF 2013


During a weird and slightly amusing episode of Celebrity Big Brother (Toadie from Neighbours is in it, give me a break!) possibly thee worst and weirdest advert came on. If you haven’t seen it, you’re not missing much. It literally is 5 people jumping or flying across the screen wearing different colour clothing and explosions of fruit like things and then the voice over saying “5 colours, come out from the cold,” then a number pops up with their website and that’s it.

Who are you?
What are you?
What are you trying to sell?

I hate to have to go out of my way to find out who you are, what you do and what you’re trying to sell but I did and found you’re this:

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Electronic cigarettes why the heck didn’t you say so??!!

Righto. Most wasted 20 seconds of this year so far, you could have just said that at the beginning. If you think I’ve lost it and it seems like a great advert, check 5 coloursand comment below.*

* Just so you could see, I had to be the first person to view this shite video on YouTube for your viewing benefit.